Fertility

Time to delve into the murky past again... I've read a lot of "stuff" about birth, abortion and even some brave/foolish woman who breastfed and expressed on Facebook (or at least on a picture posted to Facebook).... and of course when fertility goes wrong. IE; infertility.
I fell pregnant very easily (some may call it accidental) with my first 2 babies, at 19 and 21. This is not uncommon at this age. You're highly fertile. Apparently fertility peaks (in women) in the mid 20s, slowly declines, declines a bit more sharply in the early 30s and rockets downhill after 35. That said, I've looked after a fair few women in their 30s and some in their 40s in maternity. Men, on the other hand, can impregnate a woman well into old age, but their is a gradual decline, but not a cut off, like menopause. Some would argue that there is manopause.....
Infertility hits both sexes, with a percentage being male, female, combination and unexplained. In our case it was unexplained and secondary in my case (as I'd had kids already) and primary for G (as he had no kids). I'm not going to pretend that I know the dramas associated with IVF, but I know how it felt for us.
We got married in early '97 and tried for a baby fairly quickly. I fell pregnant fairly quickly and expected a standard pregnancy like my first 2. At 7 weeks along I started to spot. This continued for a few days, by which time, panic had set in and I'd seen the doctor and had and ultrasound. The ultrasound (a lovely transvaginal one that involved a probe with a glove stuck awkwardly on the end of it and 2 people not 1 in the room) showed a tiny foetus with a still dot that should have been pulsing. So off to theatre for a D & C. While upset, I knew it was common and resolved to try again soon and hopefully it would be ok next time.
Next time, the spotting started again at 7 weeks. Ultrasound showed the embryo alive but ith a large ovarian cyst. I continued to spot and started to bleed while visiting my parents. Off to hospital with another D&C resulting.
The next time, my cycle started to play up. I went from a bog standard 28-30 cycle to a 21 day cycle. I got introduced to a temperature chart, subsequently diagnosed with luteal phase insufficiency and shortly after given a prescription for clomid.
Temperature chart: take oral temp every morning before rising, chart. Temp should rise in second half of month, indicating an egg has been released. Sex should be marked on this and you get to be humiliated by at at your gynaecologists.
Luteal phase deficiency: shortened menstrual cycle, less than 10-14 days with/without ovulation, meaning a fertilized egg may not have enough time to implant before a period.
Clomid: fertility drug, used for luteal deficiencies and anovulation etc. Taken early on in the menstrual cycle. You still use the temperature chart and have a preogesterone test on day 21-23. Side effects include possible multiple release of eggs, pelvic pain/ache and hot flushes. Twins are not uncommon.
I also had a hystero-salpingogram which involves dye being squirted through your reproductive organs to see if there are any blockages.
G didn't escape unscathed, however jerking off into a cup isn't my idea of hardship. He, however made it harder on himself by taking the first sample to the lab without the request slip. The second sample he "got" in a public loo near the lab and someone reached for his ankle under the partition while said collection was in progress. Go figure. I'm still amazed he finished.....
Oh I had a heap of blood tests too, for chromosomes, weird blood groups, diabetes, clotting diseases etc. fun times.
The next time followed the same course, which was becoming depressingly familiar. This time I was being ultrasounded regularly and taking progesterone pessaries, all to no avail. I lost this foetus at home this time. After this we were suitably traumatised and decided to delay trying for a baby for a while.
We came to an agreement that we would wait for a year and start again. We decided how long we would try for and how far we would go (up to 35, stop at IVF). One of my colleagues and I bonded as we were going through the same thing at the same time. She went to IUST (intra uterine wperm transfer)and fell pregnant before I did. Nonetheless, the support from her was very helpful as infertility is one of those things that makes people uncomfortable, so they are quite often rude/inappropriate about it. Surprisingly G found a lot of support from his mainly male work colleagues, which was also very helpful. In that year I concentrated on existing family and career. I started midwifery, despite some saying I was mad, but it actually depersonalized it for me. The midwives I trained with assured me that I would be pregnant when I finished the course and even though I didn't believe them, I was 6 months pregnant with miss 11 when I finished. Her and miss 8 have been an absolute gift. Miss 11 is like a female version of G and miss 8 a mini me.
So while my story isn't the worst it could be, it was still a long 3 years and enough to make me appreciate my fertility and the kids I have.