Saturday, January 29, 2011


Have you noticed how housework just keeps on? I have read somewhere, that housework really has nothing to do with motherhood. So let's just clear up that straight away. I did not come from my mothers womb with a duster or wettex clutched in my tiny hand. It is not instinctive, it's a learned behaviour. I have also read somewhere (I really love being able to reference vague articles without having to actually have a hard copy clutched in my hot little...), that animals will keep their own abodes clean and relatively tidy, just as so will humans, properly raised. Does that mean it is an actual instinct??? Oh the horror.
Anyway, I loathe the ongoing aspect of housework. You just put in hours upon hours of work and it looks great. Then, it all slowly goes to shit. It takes about 5 hours to properly clean my house. That includes, sweeping, vacuuming, toilets, baths, shower screens, hand basins, wiping walls & windows, dusting, changing sheets, hanging washing out & bringing it in and finally cleaning the oven. Folding (& if necessary, ironing) said washing is a separate venture, best done in front of the tv, with a movie of my choice. My mother, who I might add is retired, says to just do bits at a time. Yeah right, I'm gonna do housework just after I've come back from work at 5.30. My dad (who was home earlier than her), my sister and I used to do some of that housework each day.I have gone the easy route. I pay someone to come in once a fortnight for 4 hours. She does the basics and I do the maintenance. Your kids, no matter the age will protest at anything you ask them to do around the home. Eg: why do I have to do everythhing? All you've asked them to do is their bed or unpack the dishwasher. Older kids merely sit on the couch while you work and reassure you that "all you have to do is ask" while they leave empty wrappers, bowls, cups, cutlery, plastic bags about. Grrr.
My mother (she of the do a bit everyday) did the subject "domestic science" , or some such at high school in the 50s. They got taught how to be a housewife. Now this was for girls only, but I would be in favour of returning that for all. Kids don't really want to listen to you when you try to teach them. I've seen how their washing gets hung out. The result is neither Mstr 20 or miss 23 are any great shakes at housework. I got to witness firsthand after my surgery last year, when my energy levels were the worst they've ever been and the couch was my home, just how poor everyones skills in the house were. Is it my fault, not sure, but boy were they glad when I was once again able to resume the housework duties.

Friday, January 28, 2011


I like books. Always have and always will. I grew up in a house (female heavy, poor old dad) where reading was the norm. Sure dad only read the paper, wheels and some boating/fishing magazine when I was a kid, but now he reads....books. I tried to encourage my son to read, it waxes and wanes, I think that a boy (or man child as I "affectionately" refer to him) with ADHD that reads at all is doing well. My husband reads, that too waxes and wanes, but still he's read war and peace (and that's more than I've been able to do). At the moment, I'm trying to instil a love of reading in my 7 year old who would gladly sit in front of a screen playing any of the foxtel kids channels or wii all day if I let her. It seems to be working so far.
Secret to confess, I was a nerd at school tried to hide it as a late teenager with all sorts of bad behavior but there you have.I'm a nerd and proud of it. I did well at school and read a lot, oh and can sew pretty well too. I've seen the question (dunno where), what's your favorite book. WTF? There's way too many to pick from. I can usually pick from a list, so here it is.In no particular order either. Add yours.
The Stand by Stephen King; the extended version. I love how he describes the super flu passing on and on and on...
Insomnia by Stephen King: superhero pensioners and auras, what more could you want
Firestarter by Stephen King: sad, but scary to imagine it easily happening.
Carrie by Stephen King: telekinesis, yeah.
The Dead Zone by Stephen king: another sad one.
Oh, I also liked Under the Dome and Duma Key and It. There, I'll stop my Stephen King obsession. I do have a sizable collection of his books, along with dean koontz books.
Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. Do I really need to explain this? I also have the Hobbit.
Gone With the Wind by Margeret Mitchell: so much was missed out in the movies.
The Womens Room by Marilyn French: written about the time when women actually started to break out of their shackles and showed while better, it wasn't utopia and that was ok.
The Godfather by Mario Puzo: Italian crime by an Italian author.
The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris: liked his style of writing ( have also enjoyed Hannibal and Red Dragon).
Exodus by Leon Uris: I know he has a bias, but it puts into perspective why things went down
that path (have also read the Haj and Mila 18).
Forever Amber by Kathleen Winsor: sad historial romance.
Harry Potter and.... By JK Rowling: I know it started off as a kids series, but it was very well done.

There's just a few. Notice there's no highbrow books? I've read plenty of the classics, but haven't necessarily enjoyed them all. Some of them are too much hard work to really enjoy and personally, I think there's nothing wrong with just reading a book that you can relax with.

Washing lines

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that washing is changing and not necessarily for the better.
Washing machines: top loaders can be reached easier unless you're in a wheelchair, or a dwarf. Front leaders are more economical, but harder to reach. Let's face it, I just don't want to buy a new machine until the may tag breaks down and let's face it, if those things survive for years in a laundromat, then ours'll be around for a while.
Dryers; our daughter (miss 23) used our dryer so often that when it broke down we just left it there. It's still there 3 years later, I've been thinking we should just sneak a new one in lately, see if she notices.
Fun facts: we live in Qld, so you can see us needing it a lot, can't you! Dryers when the lint filter isnt cleaned can cause house fires.
Washing lines; the hills hoist (we have one) is slowly going, to be replaced with those obnoxious wall lines. Who can hang out the clothes from an overstuffed machine on one of those? You also can't put the clothes in segments (ie, a segment for each person) and we all know that they're merely a space saver for those that live on a plot of land the size of a handkerchief. Besides, I love ranting about my family and their various sins at the clothes line (same as I tend to cry when by myself in the car). Some inner city flats (or apartments as they call them these days) don't even have a clothes line, thus the use of the dryer. Ever heard of an airer peoples? We have a big one that's replaced our dryer in the last 3 years and really it's great, although now miss 23 and Mstr 20 use it instead of walking out all the way to the clothes line. Sigh, at least it doesn't cost me money.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Fashion faux pas

I'm sure they've been going on for years. Yes, in some cave in Lascoux, oh about an ice age ago, people were sniggering behind their hands at a tribe members inappropriate use of mammoth fur as a piece of headwear.  I can't personally take responsibility for fashion throughout the ages, but damn there's been some silly shit gone on.  Examples
Viking helmets with horns; wtf??? What drunken viking arsehole dreamed them up.
Roman helmets: you know with the dunny brush on the top, are you going to clean a loo or aquaduct when you've finished?
Bedouin face veils; you know the ones with the coins on them/made of coins. No offense intended to the muslims out there, but putting your family's wealth on someone's face is pretty stupid.
Medieval women's hats; there are too many to pick. I love wearing them for dress ups. Even made some for the kids, but really, imagine trying to keep a large triangle (or two) on your head all day.
Farthingales; there's a practical garment (not). While they kind of look cool, I'm sure they weren't, imagine trying to sit in that thing...
Ruffs; often seen with the farthingale. Imagine having that under your chin all day. I suppose it would catch any dribbles at dinner.
Doublets; puffy pants on men, who were usually wearing tights. Yeah!
Periwigs; imagine trying to keep that on all day. Bad enough for men, let alone women. Picture the type favoured by Marie Antoinette. You couldn't walk without worrying all day about your hair falling off.
Panieres; (while on the subject of Marie Antoinette), or how to go sideways through a door. I guess you wouldn't have to put up with people sitting next to you unwanted.
Pilgrim wear; need I say more?
Tri-corn hats; are you a pirate or a ship's commander?
Crinolines; vile combination of farthingales and panieres. Same problem of sitting down as with farthingales.
Corsets; you couldn't eat in the things, or breathe properly for that matter. I couldn't eat much at my own wedding in a boned bustier, I hate to imagine if they tried for the 17 inch waist (a la Scarlett O'Hara).
Bustles; now don't get me wrong, if someone handed me a dress with a bustle I'd be happy to swan around in it for a month, but it combined the corset and essentially, a pillow (size depended on wealth) at your bum???
Top hats; er, wind anyone? Are they there to make people look taller?
Spats; please tell me that they were only ever worn by dodgy gangsters in dodgy gangster movies.
Ankle socks with circle skirts; mum tells me that people in Australia didn't actually wear those together. Thank God for that. Apparently my dad wore pink shoe laces and a lot of bryl cream in his hair (bodgie)
Beehives; oh the teasing it was quite out of control, mum says some actually stuck their heads on the ironing board and ironed away. Nowadays, we have a hair straightener for that shit.
Now we're down to my era and my, don't we have a lot of faux pas to thank the 60s onwards from.
1960s; I was a tot, so not responsible for my clobber then.
Paisley; busy, busy print
Jesus sandals
Head bands; or flowers

1970s; again young, so was often forced into clothes I didn't like.
Polo necks; garh, they were so itchy! I have never owned one since.
Crochet clothing;I had a very stylish vest made out of 2 large squares, connected by crochet straps.
Ponchos; have made an horrific comeback.
Flares; ended up quite out of control and yes, I've got some, even though I swore I wouldn't.
Boiler suits; too bad if you needed the loo in a hurry.
Platforms; no doubt responsible for many a broken/sprained ankle.
Treads; sandals made from thin woven leather uppers with tyre tread soles. I so wanted a pair as a kid, but mum wouldn't be in on it.
(think I've said enough)

1980s; will have to take some responsibility as I started work halfway through the decade.
Shoulder pads; some tops & jackets had removable ones. Why? Everyone wore them.
Taffeta; gaaarh.
Leg warmers;fame & flash dance & ONJ had a lot to answer to (oh and Jane Fonda). Mine were black, made them cool!!!
Fingerless gloves; thanks to Micheal Jackson (boys) & Madonna (girls).
Bubble gum jeans; shrank like a bastard when newly washed but stretched incredibly when put on.
Acid wash jeans; nuff said.
High waisted bathers; I had a very fetching pair in green.
Hair; sub category really. Lady Di, I had a Lady Di down as a young teenager. Floppy fringes, ditto as an older teen. Fluffy hair; never really had that til the early 90s.
(I could really go on for ever, but I won't)

1990s; ok, full responsibility, but I did get gifted quite a lot of clothes early on in the piece, still, didn't have to wear them, did I?
MC Hammer pants; better known as bog catchers, sadly back in fashion. Why, why, why?
Grungy clothes; did we all think we were Kurt Cobain?
Short, tight skirts & matching tops/jackets; I like to think of it as my rock chick look. Yeah, we really rocked it at the Cathouse in St Kilda then (or actually staggered it).
Straight hair; throwback to the 70s, I was often the envy of many with my long straight locks.
Weave perms; the other extreme (was also around in the late 80s). Tried one once, comb & go, but you had to make sure it didn't turn into dreadlocks.
Cargo pants; miss 23 loved hers so much that she took them off the line before they were dry on occasion.

21st century; turn over a new leaf
Well thankfully, I have more money, a bit more taste and there is more to choose from. Maxis are back, flares (not like in the 70s) are in, crochet's back and I've even seen glomesh tops
Gangsta tracksuits; they swish and they sit below where they bloody should.
Low slung jeans/pants with midriff tops; ah the muffin top.
Big sneakers; skatie sneakers
Phat pants & fluffies; favoured by ravers.
Mullet haircuts; again! It's not only boys, but girls too.
French nails; oh the smell of the salons, the staff are all Asian (why?) and they're just tacky.
Brazilians; thankfully you can't see them generally. I know it's an age thing, but who the fuck wants to look like a pre-pubescent girl?

I think I've said enough, it's someone else's turn now.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


This is not an anti or pro drugs post, cos I really don't know where I sit on this.
when I was young I loved them (drug pig). I admit to taking everything. The only reason I have never taken ecstasy (or other party drugs) is because I was past the whole nightclub thing, what with working, raising a family and saving for a house etc. Sadly, a lot don't worry about such things, so I guess I grew out of it. My list of pros and cons of illegal drugs.
Marijuana; excellent for pain (can kill headache like nothing else), stimulates appetite, reduces nausea, helps you fall asleep, der. Also makes Pink Floyd sound better... I think it should be available on script for those undergoing treatment for cancer, or in chronic, unbelievable pain. Downside is I've seen someone go psychotic on it. It's stored in fat and therefore slow to get out of your system, so can build up to toxic levels (for your brain) with chronic use. Loss of motivation, lung cancer (smoking).
Speed; (my old favorite) weight loss, class of drugs used for ADD etc (dex not meth amphetamines though). Sleep loss, appetite supressor, people can become very aggressive on it, speed pimples (though sweat), bad teeth (though dryness of mouth and teeth grinding), heart palpitations.
Cocaine; see above, but is also anaesthetic, so overdose can depress your respiratory drive, but is good local anesthetic.
Heroin; pain relief (medicinal heroin is actually not liver toxic and non addictive as long as there is actually pain). Nausea (can really make you chuck...a lot), overdose can depress respiratory drive, risk of addiction. Through association with junkies both personally (years ago and through my work), I find I can't stand being around them for too long without feeling really violent
echoes; see speed. Risk of death through brain swelling. Tip, if you must take E's have frequent sips of water and a big bag of chips thoughout the night. It will help replace the salt and fluid you lose through sweating and dancing. By the way, phat pants and fluffies suck.
I know there are a myriad of other illegal drugs (ghb, pcp etc) but I'm not a frigging medical dictionary you know, so I'm not going to mention them.
It is possible to get over a drug addiction, hard but possible. I personally faced my demons when I had the dilemma as a student of; I've been left alone to dispose of this pethidine (synthetic morphine) by myself, do I take it home or not??? Ultimately I decided that if I was going to start that shit, I may as well quit the course now and be done with it. Luckily, I had never been arrested for drugs, so registration as a nurse was not a problem for me. I don't think we're winning the war on drugs. That phrase actually makes me snigger. I don't think smack should be available at the local bottle-o (for example) either. It should be somewhere in between I think. What does everyone else think??

I hate you forever (or at least until I get sick of it)

Also known as: Open mouth, insert foot for men.
Why do they do this? You'd think they'd know (from their fathers etc) or at least learn. Maybe they want to see it happen to them too. Anything you say even in jest, can potentially be remembered for the rest of your life.....and used against you. My (hapless) husband has been good at this over the years. Examples:
1991 (see, told you so), Metallica was touring after the release of their black album. I didn't have the money at the time and asked hubbie (then boyfriend) if he could loan me the money for mine so we could go together as afriend was going to camp out for the tickets and needed the $ quickly (before my pay day). Anywho, he said and I quote "no I dont want to see them, I've seen all the bands I want to see" end quote. I believe I said "you will live to regret that comment". He did, but the wheel turned and I really made him pay for it when Kiss (ugh) came on tour. I eventually got to see Metallica, but by then they'd cut their hair and just weren't the same.
1996 (just reinforces my earlier point doesn't it) I pronged in to a taxi while in Melbourne. We had to hire a car to go back to Brisbane. fiancé (hubby) rang various companies. Eventually my mother rushed to the end of the house I was in with the kids and told me to stop him. Why you might ask. He apparently (and still hasn't denied this) said "we need to hire a car to take up to Brisbane, we've just had an accident in ours" Weirdly enough they (a national company) didn't have any spare!!! Fancy that. We still giggle about that one today.
This is not to forget the times he confessed (under the influence of several drinkies) about things he'd done when we were in our 20s (and together), particularly in front of one of our friends, which often lead to drunken squabbles and/or seething looks across the table.
Just in case you're wondering, no my husband is not an idiot. He's actually very bright, just lacks a bit of common sense.
I'm also sure that he's not the only one afflicted with this syndrome.

Saturday, January 15, 2011


Ash, the pillow, nest to the bed itself, the single most important thing you choose to sleep with. The choice can be bewildering these days. My husband and ms 23 Mstr 20 all have a latex pillow. Mstr 20 & ms 23 have an assortment of extras as well, some pretty dodgy in Mstr 20s case. Misses 10 & 7 each have a feather pillow and a variety of cushions. Miss 10 also has a throw rug that coordinates. I have a memory foam pillow. Hubby and I have an extra pillow for show and reading in bed with as well as the ridiculous variety of cushions I take to bed. No longer is it a case of just hopping in. No no my friends, there is the cushion between the knees (skinny legs you see), in front of the tummy (to rest the arm on) and these days 2 long skinny ones for the neck (below the ear) and head (above the ear), only when I lie on the right side. Why you may ask? That's where my surgery was and a bit of bones missing and, my right ear hurts. I resorted to that cos my left side got too sore always sleeping on it. Great, pressure sores.....
We are going on holiday soon, I dread to think how I'll manage to sleep then without all my pillows etc. My husbands second pillow is one of those shaped ones that he got for,,,,,well I really don't know what, Hubbie's too tight to part with it. I've no doubt that we'll have a fight when we move into the retirement village about that bloody pillow.
Anywaaay, I think I need a new pillow soon, it's getting a bit soft. This will take a lot of research and visits to spotlight, pillow talk, snooze etc, but after the holiday of course.

Friday, January 14, 2011


In view of the floods this week that first hit Queensland, first country Qld, the moving to Brisbane and Ipswich. Now Nsw (country) and Vic (again country), SA (eastern) and Tassie, with us in the sunshine state affected the worst. The tv shows the loss of lives (most tragically) and the wreckage of property left behind. In a roundabout way, I'm getting to the loss of "stuff". It's times like this you realize that stuff isn't actually that important. Anyone who's studied psychology on even a basic level would understand this is where Maslow's hierarchy of needs comes in. For the uninitiated, this involves a picture of a triangle (or is that pyramid) which is multicolored, with each section getting progressively smaller, each one labelled. It is supposed to indicate human needs, from the most basic to the, well non needs.
They are: physiological; food, drink, health etc
Safety needs: housing, shelter, safety from war etc
Social needs: love, friendship, sense of belonging etc
Esteem needs: recognition (ie at work), approval (by our parents etc), leading to self esteem
Cognitive needs: appreciation of art, beauty (visual & aural), sense of justice, knowledge,
Ethics etc
Self actualization: fulfillment of ones potential, Winston Churchill is often held up as an example of a self actualized person. The reason it's on the top is (theoretically) because most people don't reach this stage, think many countries in Africa and now Qld (especially).
So, back to stuff.
A lot of people have tumbled back to the bottom of this pyramid. Stuff probably comes somewhere in between safety needs and social needs. We build a house (or live in one anyway) and fill it with stuff. Six years ago we lost nearly all our stuff in a house fire. We had some of the kids clothes, clothes on our backs, the laptop, books, CDs, DVDs, photos and my wedding dress (& oldest girls flower girl dress) as well as some crockery and glassware (in a display cabinet) and linen. That was it.
Six years later I have another house and it's full, but it took at least 18 months to be back in the same (ish) spot as we started, oh and in more debt, lots more. We were insured too. So to the people affected by the flood, my heart goes out to you, it's such a traumatic time. Once you've gotten rid of the worst of the mess you'll feel a bit better. You do realize all the belongings you had were all just...stuff., stuff that you can live without. The rebuilding is kind of exciting because you're getting new stuff, but having said that, who'd thought you could get sick of shopping? You do, weirdly enough, but some stuff you do miss.
I miss copies of my mothers family tree, my old (and mums) swap card albums (can't pass them on now), my formal clothes (including the ones I made myself), a leather jacket (very 90s), my hot tuna flower pants (so cool) and the jeans (caverns of course) that I sewed so tight my circulation was compromised and then sewed in some suede patchwork down the outside seams. Not that I'm hanging on to them mentally (sigh), but you do remember them, and somehow recognize their place in the greater scheme of things.

Kids creations

My first memorable experience of this was when my oldest child was 4. We got presented with a display folder with artwork by our cold/ren and an "explanation" of the picture by daycare staff. It was a mothers day gift, see and the theme was for the children to show with art how & why they loved their mums. I was one of the younger mothers using the daycare centre and single at the time, so was a bit self conscious anyway. My daughter's Reasons for loving me:
My mum wets the plants in the garden
My mum looks after Lucky (a friend's dog we minded)
My mum puts on makeup when she goes out(to the pub!!!!)
My mum calls me silly Billy when I fall over(!!!!)

Needless to say the daycare staff had a great laugh over her folder.
PS the staff at that day care centre were great, often going above and beyond. Take note when looking for a daycare centre, if staff turnover and parent turnover is low, stick with them til you have to let go. Good child care is hard to come by. This I can confidently share from 22 years of using it.

My iPod shuffle list

Bicycle race by Queen, loved Queen's greatest hits as a teenager, reminds me of a holiday where we listened to it relentlessly.
The four seasons (winter) , by Vivaldi. I went to a very musical school and was (very briefly) in the orchestra.
Comfortably Numb, by Pink Floyd, nuff said.
Miss you, by the Rolling Stones, not my favourite stones song, but I still know most of the words.
Devil inside, by Inxs, saw them in 1987.
Hello, I love you, by the Doors, I do like the Doors.
Me and Bobby McGee, by Janis Joplin, love to sing along and I remember it on the radio as a kid (God I feel old now).
Higher Ground, by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
With a little help from my friends, by of course the Beatles, not my fav, but still....
Black Friday, by Grinspoon, have seen them, I think at BDO.
California Dreaming, by the Mamas & the Papas, like music from the sixties.
Queer, by garbage.
Animal by Def Leppard, I'm such an 80s tragic.
Blue Orchid, by the White Stripes.
Heart of Gold, by Neil Young.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Kids movies

Almost without exception, my favs are by good old Disney. They are:
Dumbo: sad
Beauty and the beast: first movie I took the oldest to. The detail on the cinema screen was incredible.
Aladdin: ditto for my son. I saw it so often on VHS that 2 or 3 lines got stuck in my head on day at work and not even the lame muzak could drown it out. But anything with Robin Williams is good.
The emperors new groove: I loved Kronk (oh and Ysma as a kitten), I can still quote lines from it.
Finding Nemo: mine...mine...mine... that is so classic, sadly can quote that too.
The incredibles: just cos they're cool
Toy story(s): need I say more
Monsters inc: the big blue furry one's cute
Monsters VS aliens: with "suuuusan" and the bizarre evil squid alien
Wizard of Oz: fly, fly, fly says the witch, was so scary when I was young too
Mary Poppins: God she could sing and she was much nicer and prettier than she appeared in the book
The Sound of Music: God she could sing (oh that's right she was in the previous movie), course the kids were a bit scary in a Duggaresque way.

Does anyone else have any others?


This is about the mess my kids used to make when they were young and I was a single parent. I have no idea why they did this. My oldest went through a brief stage of sleeping in and then it all went to shit. I broke with her father, had another baby, started university and moved house all in no particular order and in a very short space of time. It was some time after my son reached toddler hood that the zenith of the messes occurred. They both used to get up appallingly early. One time my oldest put the tv on at about 4 o'clock. Damn me for teaching her how to do it. Anywho, we went through a "fun" phase where I would get up survey the damage and scream. Examples include:
Liquid paper on the stereo; yes the buttons on the tape deck etc were painted, circles in the appropriate spots were painted on the speakers.
Sultanas on the lounge room floor; my then boyfriend (now husband) brought over a shopping bog full of sultanas from his mother, after a visit to Berri, as one does....
"Cakes" on the lounge room floor;I took a long time to get over this one. You see there were 2 bowls, flour, sugar, salt, eggs and milk, 2 children (small) and 1 teddy (large). Their aim at the bowls was somewhat haphazard and apparently teddy had smeared the "cakes" all over his fur which had to be trimmed, after I spent about 3 hours cleaning the muck off the carpet. I then forcibly jammed teddy in the washing machine for about 3 cycles and had to get the carpet cleaned....oh the trauma.
As a post script, my son after seeing his sister's fine example (see above) decided to make "cakes" in the kitchen. I was so grateful that no carpet, soft furnishings or toys were involved that I kissed him and took a photo for posterity.
Fortunately misses 10 and 7 haven't been so inspired. The worst has been getting up early.

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Today I played Monopoly with my 10 & 7 year olds. The here and now Australian version. You don't get paper money anymore, no you get a giant credit card. WTF??? Anywho, the great barrier reef was the cheapest and the Barossa the dearest properties...go figure. Is it the wine made there? At least I got to buy Melbourne, after all I grew up there. Oh, my token was a laptop too. 10 year olds was a mobile, hmmm, is she trying to tell me something?? 7 year olds was, well I don't know what the fuck that weird looking creature was meant to be, kangaroo? teddy? Who knows. After 2 (I think) hours in which 7 year old threw the dice about the room, painstakingly (or painfully) counted out every dot on the die (yes plural) and collected rent off me and the 10 year old she was winning. 10 year old and I got sick of landing in jail and landing on community cheest or chance and NOT ON VACANT property we called it quits. Needless to say 7 year old was upset, so the game is still on the dining table waiting for us to resume it. Hahahaha.


This is not an advert, ok???However, I do love magnum ice creams, mmmm. I have just finished a magnum gold and of course, feel slightly sick, but who cares? This is an ice cream I will search out and they (streets) occasionally come up with new ones, urrrrggggg. Anyway, I wish they would bring back the seven deadly sins range (from the early 2000s). At the time of that range I was working in maternity and used to get a different one every time I was on my way to work for night shift. God knows I did enough of those, so I had lots. Anyway, it's about time they came up with a new range, either that, or brought back "sins".

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Favourite corny movies

I'm watching a Rambo movie at the moment, so it's particularly relevant.
The Karate kid-wise old sensei and kid VS bad coach.
The Mighty Ducks-see above
Armageddon-as my husband says. Bruce Willis and his ragtag bunch of misfits save the world
The day after tomorrow- disaster movie with a heroic dad
2012-see above
The Castle-at least the vibe is Australian
Dr Dolittle(s)-talking vet and then his daughter follows his footsteps

Are there seriously people around like this??


Life is full of acronyms. For those working in healthcare, there's even more.
POP = plaster of paris (for broken arms/legs etc)
MI = myocardial infarction (heart attack)
HOV = head on view (when a baby's head can be seen externally while a woman's in labour)
See? You can write your notes quicker and let's face it, it's like a secret language. Pig latin anyone???
I'm sure lots of other professions have acronyms. Some of my favourite ones are never written down, here's why.
FIGJAM = fuck I'm good, just ask me (I've heard of some surgeons suffering from that syndrome)
FITH syndrome = fucked in the head syndrome (lots of people with that one)
ICLT = inter cranial lead therapy (lots of people need a bullet to the head too)
Of course acronyms are creeping into everyday life, particularly via mobiles/internet and can at first appear quite baffling.
ATM = at the moment (and here I just thought that you got money from one)
OMM = on my mind
LMAO = laughing my arse off (I'd gotten the hang of LOL and even ROFL, couldn't we just stick with them?
I'm sure people can think of others, let me know.

Open mouth, insert foot.

This is something I have, at times excelled in, both at work and in my personal life. In my personal life, the worst in recent memory was when I told a friend of mine, via text, that I didn't like sloppy, sentimental chain text messages. In return she told me that her grandchild had died in utero at term....garrh! Needless to say she didn't take the call when I rang to apologise, profusely, even though I didn't know anything about it. I'm still not fond of that type of text message, or email.
At work, however, we are expected to not give our personal opinions, no matter what bizarre or unreasonable shit we hear of our patients/clients doing. Sometimes. it just slips out.
Examples: (yeah, yeah I know, confidentiality, well I'll keep that) After an arguement with a patient (with a personality disorder) who was driving me mad, particularly about mobile phones I told him that I didn't believe he even had one. Well he waved it at me when his partner brought it in and I said "well, they'll give one to anyone these days won't they?" It was the nineties and a lot harder to get one then, but all in all perhaps I just should've walked out the room.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Mobile phones

Call me old fashioned, but how unnecessary are these creations of Satan? Yes I (theoretically) have one and have for years. I only theoretically have one because I'm waiting for my replacement iPhone from a certain telco that I won't name, but their name begins with O... I've been waiting for about a month now, so I'm a little over it. Over the years I've had: a brick (from the analogue days) which my parents handed down to me, a blue alcatel, a silver phone (don't remember the brand), a nokia 3310, a nokia flip phone with camera (cool), a nokia n73, and finally the iPhone. I love it and have gotten used to being able to play music in my car through it, taking photos with it and checking my bank balance via the internet with it, now I'm bereft. I digress however.
Why do I think they are unnecessary? Who needs to be reachable all the time? Really? Mothers, drs and businessmen don't answer, but really, do you need to talk at the local cafe? No, or walking down the street etc. My oldest (23 yr old daughter) asked what we used to do without them the other day. Well, live. I actually told her that we made firm arrangements at a prior time and stuck to them and didn't send meaningless but constant texts (wot r u doing?), or call each other at 3 in the morning. Anyway, one of the reasons parents buy their kids phones is to be able to reach them if necessary and half the time they don't answer them! Often and my own kids have admitted this, they'll look at the phone when it rings, see it's mum (or it has a special ring tone for parents) and turn it off or silent. Garrh!
Why do I think they're instruments of Satan? In a few words, the telcos and their contracts.
1 the contract wording is indecipherable, so that when your bill is a bit (or a lot) bigger than you expected, you can't work out why.I'm sure they've realized that they can make more money from mobiles than landlines and would love it if we all had only mobiles.
2 the plans for the same reason as above.
3 customer service: hahahaha....
4 research has shown that someone who uses a mobile phone for more than 30 minutes a day has an increased risk of developing glioblastomas (or malignant brain tumor). I don't like feeling like a lab rat. The heat you get from a mobile after a long conversation is just scary, so now I use them on speaker phone ALWAYS.
Having said all of this, I still have a phone, go figure.

Head lice

Gaarrh!!! This could be a very short post as that says it all. My 10 year old recently told me she had an itchy head. My blood just ran cold,oh, and I started scratching my own head in automatic sympathy. How does a child catch nits during the school holidays?? Anyway I coated her LONG hair in conditioner and combed a thriving metropolis of nits and lice out of her hair....and then doused it in kp24. The worst thing is that I've had to come my own now continuously itchy scalp and my 7 year olds (another long haired girl who shunted very loudly) and will have to wash my pillow slips etc. The vile memory of months of infestation previously spurs me on.
Advice to those that need it, let's face it, now I'm an expert.
Conditioner, put through dry hair and comb out "bugs" with a steel nit comb in sections. Comb a single section until clear. Repeat in 2-3 days, until a week after you've seen no "bugs".
Wash all sheets, towels etc. Drying in tumble dryer will kill any lice or nits off with the heat (only time ever recommend using a dryer apart from rain).
Kp24 lotion can be used as well. Use after 5 days not 7, a hairdresser told me that one. I know it's chemical laden etc, but it's effective!
Treat the whole house at least once. The nit comb will show if they need it or not.
Young primary school kids are more prone to it as they love hugging each other. A preventative spray can be purchased and applied each school day, or one made at home using tea tree or lavender oil and water. Please notify the school if you notice your child has them. They don't send kids home with them anymore and as a result they often spread like wildfire.

There, that was funny wasn't it? Not.


First post. All I wanted to do originally was comment on someone else's post and now here we are. I guess I should introduce myself. I'm in my 40s, a married nurse with 4 kids, 2 of them grown up but the younger 2 still at primary school. We live on small acreage in Brisbane and have 2 cats, a dog and 3 fish. The biggest thing to happen to me recently was that last year I got diagnosed with a brain tumor. A meningioma is benign but still a damned nuisance. I had brain surgery (a craniotomy) but due to the fact that they didn't get 20% of it, the struggle goes on. I am currently struggling not to let this define me and am back in my usual roles of wife, mother and nurse but some days it's harder than others. I've always found humor, particularly graveyard humour (common to health workers) helpful. Let's hope I can provide, or maybe receive some. I welcome input.....